general rules to live by (because I am bored)
1. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If he cheats on her with you, he’ll cheat on you with someone else.
2. You’re either Serena or Blair. There is no in-between.
3. Reserve judgment until at least 3 conversations with the person, one of which must be in-depth.
4. VS boys are trouble-some.
5. The comfort zone exists as a measure of the amount of work you need to put in to get out of it.
6. If at first you don’t succeed in a relationship with someone from The Circle, it’s time to start looking somewhere else.
7. If you let your secondary school dictate your social circle and general direction in life, you’re a wanker.
8. Don’t stop believing. Especially in Love.
9. Regret is for the weak. Stand by your decisions and walk on by with your dignity intact.
10. Fate has a place and time. Also, when in doubt, quote song lyrics.
the holes in my apologies
I can’t sleep, so I’m listening to the music on my Pod and Fun’s We Are Young is on. It’s the type of indie-pop that went mainstream and is now on everyone’s playlist. Frankly, I think it’s an Occasion song, yknw?
I miss taking lots of photos and putting them up on FB, on albums titled after song lyrics. I know it sounds incredibly frivolous when put like that but I guess I’ve always treated that as an extension of who I am. Every occasion, every memorable event in my life captured on camera, framed by poignant song lyrics. Maybe I am a superficial person. Or maybe that’s my version of art.
I haven’t felt feelings for a long time now. My head has ruled over the heart for much too long now and now I don’t even know who I am anymore.
I’ve lost myself.
One of those nights where I wish I was better than I really am.
Better skin, nicer features, kinder heart. I wish I had more patience and less pride, more compassion and less bitterness, more generosity and less superficiality. It’s awful to feel this way and to remember past incidents of rejection that surface all these insecurities.
But then I remember that Allah has given me so much that I should be thankful for, maybe more than what I deserve.
And I can’t help but be overwhelmed with a sense of humility and gratitude at His mercy.
One of the highlights of my time at RJ was being a part of the pioneer batch of soccer girls. I played starting left back for the team both seasons. For a team that trained on a patch of grass full of pot holes beside the school quadrangle because there was no space for us on the school field, we sure had a lot of guts taking on stronger, more established teams. For the first time in my life, I felt like a part of something bigger than what I had always known before trying out for the team. I learnt to be brave, and strong and I gave my all on that field. I never gave more to a bunch of people than I did for those two years. We were a team, and we were willing to sacrifice everything for each other. In our final year, we took the bronze. It was the only sports medal that I had ever gotten — I literally shed sweat, blood and tears for it — and it was the best feeling in the world.
So here’s my heartfelt Congratulations to the current batch of RJ Soccer Girls You’ve done something that my team and I always dreamt of, and we could not be prouder of all of you.
RJ Soccer Girls, A Div Champions 2012
